Hell’s Threshold (2006)

Hell's Threshold

Sam, a journalist, tirelessly guards the unsuspecting world from the centuries old demon, Apostolos. When the planets align, an opening to another dimension is created and the monster emerges to kill. Tonight the planets have aligned and Sam is in a race against time to protect mankind.

That film sounds pretty good doesn’t it, unfortunately for me what I actually spent 72 minutes of my life watching bore very little resemblance to the synopsis above. After a little research I discovered that this film was some kind of misguided attempt at making a film in only 24 hours. Clearly the question ‘can I do it?’ was favoured over the much more important question ‘should I do it?’

There are reasons why making a film is a time consuming process, most of these become very clear during the inexplicably filler packed 72 minute runtime. That two people are credited with the films screenplay is shocking because I’d be surprised if filming began with anything more than a brief story outline. Lines of dialogue are clearly improvised because no one could write anything quite so unsuitable. While most is simply lazy, the actress playing the estate agent struggles to improvise a profession she clearly has little understanding of (unless ‘fireplace room’ is another name for dining room that I’m not aware of).

Criticising the acting on display is harsh as without competent direction and proper preparation even the best would struggle. Criticising the director though is fair game. What we have here is an ugly film on every level. Establishing shots filmed with no tripod, digital filters added in post production for no clear reason, Foley sounds that bear no resemblance to the action they represent and an extended scene of a woman urinating are just some of the horrors on display.

The confusing mess of a storyline that tries to string together this horror show has some potential but like most good ideas it needs care and attention, neither of which it was given. Told entirely in flashback, by a man who could have had no knowledge of the events by virtue of being completely absent from proceedings. The story seems to revolve around a demon that lives in a fireplace and wears leather pants that hates the models viewing the apartment he resides in (can’t blame him really). That it takes 60 minutes (12 minutes of the runtime are the credits shown in full and the start and repeated at the end) for the demon to knock the lot of them off borders on torture.

Anyone screening this during wartime might want to give the Geneva Convention a once over just to be on the safe side, truly criminal.

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